“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”  That’s the opening line of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, and the seed of what’s become known as the Anna Karenina Principle. I’ll confess I met it through

 Newcastle’s first grand final in 25 years, and I watched it from a beer garden in Albury.  I’ve lived in Newcastle my whole life. I remember the last one, when the Knights won and a fair portion of the town

Nobody has ever answered “If you only had twelve months to live, what would you do?” with “Get on top of my inbox.”  Or “nurse a grudge.” Or “argue with strangers on X.”  It’s one of the classic coaching questions,

 You know how kids see things in highly egocentric terms?  Everything that happens is about them or in relation to them.  As we grow, we tend to grow out of this, but not completely.  When we’re tired, busy, stressed this

I see a lot of people focused on becoming. Eyes forward, reaching for the next level. How old were your kids when they took their first steps? Cool, what is the next progression marker? Are they advanced? Behind? What’s primary

Many managers I’ve worked with have experienced a version of this soulless feelingless transactional interaction. The: “what have you done for me lately?” “Hey, fantastic month, great result. Now, what have you got for next month?” Or, “That was a

How are you going? Happy, well, nailing it? Or meh? Or WTAF is going on!!!? Or somewhere in between? Want a quick check on the stuff that matters? The MyAtaraxy Quick Health Check. Fifteen YES/NO questions. Five minutes. A personalised

How does our deep biology and our sense of self contribute to how we think and ultimately how we interact with the world around us? I built the “Personal Ataraxy Matrix” below to help people connect their daily interactions with

There’s a particular way dreams get crushed. Inaction obviously, but even before that, the dismissal of the idea in the first place. It usually happens when the gap between where you are and where the idea would take you is

What is the ROI on how I feel? Absurd question, right? It is absurd because we shouldn’t attempt to quantify qualia. But it isn’t absurd, because it represents is a massive missing link that companies cannot see. Companies deal in

When someone gives a gift, they create an invisible social obligation in the receiver — an implied debt that wasn’t asked for and can’t easily be refused. This piece explores the hidden psychological and relational cost of gifts and what

About 20 years ago I went through a phase of reading those North American motivational books — Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Emerson, Tolle, that whole shelf. One of them was Nathaniel Branden’s The Art of Living Consciously: The Power of

Coachy-mode unnamed dad to his daughter as she puts her boots on for soccer: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Daughter with a grin that shows she’s too clever for her dad: “You can’t fail if you

New Rule! [specific words or gestures] are now a criminal offence. New Rule! I’m removing that guardrail and bending that rule — it’s slowing us down. New Rule! The Board won’t agree to this — too conservative — so I’ll just not mention it. Forgiveness, not permission. New Rule! That process

Those idiots! They are just out for themselves. They don’t care how they impact others…. Last week we focused on the corroding effect on our happiness from Comparison with others. We see their visible successes and not their doubts, fears,