Ataraxy Friday Messages

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Make rules like you weren’t the boss

New Rule! [specific words or gestures] are now a criminal offence. New Rule! I’m removing that guardrail and bending that rule — it’s slowing us down. New Rule! The Board won’t agree to this — too conservative — so I’ll just not mention it. Forgiveness, not permission. New Rule! That process is frustrating, so I’m going around it to get an important outcome.  Hollywood loves a rogue cop. The good guy who bends the rules to get the bad guy. The outlaw with the good heart. His unique approach makes the breakthrough that tired old “procedure” couldn’t. “We know he’s guilty, but stupid court rules won’t let us bring him in.” Where’s Batman, or Deadpool, when you need him?  Social justice (social conservative) advocates love a ‘new rule’ or

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Recent Articles

Flipping intentions

Those idiots! They are just out for themselves. They don’t care how they impact others…. Last week we focused on the corroding effect on our happiness from Comparison with others. We see their visible successes and not their doubts, fears,

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Comparison Corrodes

There’s a famous study from the 1992 Barcelona Olympics that gets wheeled out regularly to make a point about happiness. Bronze medallists, on camera and in interviews, look happier than silver medallists — despite silver being the objectively better result.   The explanation

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Life objectively good

Those two orange circles up there are the same size. I know it, you know it, and your eyes still don’t believe it. Surround something with bigger things and it shrinks. Surround it with smaller things and it grows. Your brain isn’t broken — it just refuses to

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AF Nothing to Nothing is No Time At All

“Eventlessness has no posts to drape duration on. From nothing to nothing is no time at all.” — John Steinbeck, East of Eden   Sit with that for a moment – what a beautiful piece of writing.   It’s from a passage where Steinbeck is

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The Smartest Person in the Room

The smartest person in most rooms he walked into. Technically brilliant. His organisation knew his value — and so did he.  But it wasn’t enough.  He’d been passed over for promotion. His numbers weren’t where they needed to be.  When I first met ___, he

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Owning Your Impact

“My boys have a better chance of being well-rounded, rational young men asa result of me committing myself to this journey of figuring out my thoughts.” This quote from a client this week is an example of a father – recognising

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The Man I was, killed the man I wanted to be

A feature of the wonderful Aussie blue’s artist, Lloyd Spiegal’s music is the lyrics.  Many of his tunes really that hit me in the feels.  One example is “The man I was.”  Hard to listen to without feeling a little choked up.  The key lyric here “The man that I was killed the man that

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Australian Leaders: More worry less happy

The Australian HR Institute published findings from the Global Leadership Wellbeing Survey last week. It tracks the happiness of leaders — and it isn’t telling a good story.  There is an unbroken, ten-year decline. A decade of consistent, measurable deterioration in the felt wellbeing of

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Mental Fitness Matters….. for other people

We tell our friends “Mental health matters” and “don’t be afraid to ask for help.”   We mean it. We watch elite athletes work with coaches, sports psychologists, nutritionists — whole teams dedicated to marginal gains — and we think: of course,

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Push Fall Reset Repeat

Case Study #01 — J___ Director, Professional Services Firm  The first thing J___ told me was that life felt like there were “too many balls in the air — spread too thin, not operating at my best.”  Fair call, as a director of

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I fire them and get better people

Interesting chat this week. To an open question about leadership problems that drain energy and drag on team performance, the reply came back: “Generally, I find it’s staff who do that — I fire them and get better people.” I

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Fisherman’s Dilemma Part 2

Size doesn’t matter – Climate and The Fisherman’s dilemma Last week I wrote about the Fisherman’s dilemma. How acting in self-interest is self-defeating. Let’s apply it to something real, large, and present — climate change policy. Specifically, one of the

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Fisherman’s Dilemma Part 1

Panic buying fuel? Toilet paper? Why? Why do people do it? We know why. It is obvious why. I’m surprised it is surprising. It is in their self-interest to do so. It is — by any reasonable definition — the

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Argument Loading

There’s a moment we all know too well. Someone says something—your mother-in-law, your uncle, that colleague—and you feel an argument loading. You’re tired, they’re tired, there is pressure, everyone’s dialled up, and you’re about to say the thing you’ll regret.

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