Ataraxy Friday Messages

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Life objectively good

Those two orange circles up there are the same size. I know it, you know it, and your eyes still don’t believe it. Surround something with bigger things and it shrinks. Surround it with smaller things and it grows. Your brain isn’t broken — it just refuses to measure anything except in relation to whatever’s standing next to it.  That we perceive things in relative rather than absolute terms is a fact worth taking seriously.  Just because you see something a certain way doesn’t make it true.   Knowing the truth doesn’t change the experience.  Even when you know for a fact that what you’re seeing isn’t real, the illusion persists. You can’t think your way out of it.  Now. Do you think that effect is limited to your eyes?  Your feelings work the

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Recent Articles

AF Nothing to Nothing is No Time At All

“Eventlessness has no posts to drape duration on. From nothing to nothing is no time at all.” — John Steinbeck, East of Eden   Sit with that for a moment – what a beautiful piece of writing.   It’s from a passage where Steinbeck is

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The Smartest Person in the Room

The smartest person in most rooms he walked into. Technically brilliant. His organisation knew his value — and so did he.  But it wasn’t enough.  He’d been passed over for promotion. His numbers weren’t where they needed to be.  When I first met ___, he

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Owning Your Impact

“My boys have a better chance of being well-rounded, rational young men asa result of me committing myself to this journey of figuring out my thoughts.” This quote from a client this week is an example of a father – recognising

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The Man I was, killed the man I wanted to be

A feature of the wonderful Aussie blue’s artist, Lloyd Spiegal’s music is the lyrics.  Many of his tunes really that hit me in the feels.  One example is “The man I was.”  Hard to listen to without feeling a little choked up.  The key lyric here “The man that I was killed the man that

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The Man I was, killed the man I wanted to be

The Australian HR Institute published findings from the Global Leadership Wellbeing Survey last week. It tracks the happiness of leaders — and it isn’t telling a good story.  There is an unbroken, ten-year decline. A decade of consistent, measurable deterioration in the felt wellbeing of

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Mental Fitness Matters….. for other people

We tell our friends “Mental health matters” and “don’t be afraid to ask for help.”   We mean it. We watch elite athletes work with coaches, sports psychologists, nutritionists — whole teams dedicated to marginal gains — and we think: of course,

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Push Fall Reset Repeat

Case Study #01 — J___ Director, Professional Services Firm  The first thing J___ told me was that life felt like there were “too many balls in the air — spread too thin, not operating at my best.”  Fair call, as a director of

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I fire them and get better people

Interesting chat this week. To an open question about leadership problems that drain energy and drag on team performance, the reply came back: “Generally, I find it’s staff who do that — I fire them and get better people.” I

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Fisherman’s Dilemma Part 2

Size doesn’t matter – Climate and The Fisherman’s dilemma Last week I wrote about the Fisherman’s dilemma. How acting in self-interest is self-defeating. Let’s apply it to something real, large, and present — climate change policy. Specifically, one of the

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Fisherman’s Dilemma Part 1

Panic buying fuel? Toilet paper? Why? Why do people do it? We know why. It is obvious why. I’m surprised it is surprising. It is in their self-interest to do so. It is — by any reasonable definition — the

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Argument Loading

There’s a moment we all know too well. Someone says something—your mother-in-law, your uncle, that colleague—and you feel an argument loading. You’re tired, they’re tired, there is pressure, everyone’s dialled up, and you’re about to say the thing you’ll regret.

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Assume Better Intent

A client of mine, a Senior Manager in a national corporate role, often comes away from meetings with the sense that some participants are almost deliberately undermining the outcome. You know the feeling – someone keeps raising objections, poking holes,

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Be Interesting Without Saying Anything

We get the urge to fill conversational gaps with something—anything—and often resort to asking for, or worse, offering our own facts. Facts usually kill conversations. Feelings, enquiries, and stories sustain them. The fix? Shift from facts to their experience. You

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Get It Done

We’ve all got important projects that drift. The exercise program that starts “next week.” The business strategy that needs “just a bit more thinking.” The difficult conversation we’ll have “when the time is right.” Your brain isn’t sabotaging you—it’s doing

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