Ataraxy Friday Messages

LATEST

Old Foundations Modern Context

How does our deep biology and our sense of self contribute to how we think and ultimately how we interact with the world around us? I built the “Personal Ataraxy Matrix” below to help people connect their daily interactions with the deep influence that our ancient biology plays. Our body and deep biology has drivers for safety and success which have been forged over millennia. To work over ecological time frames, they need to be reasonably generic rules or preferences. Markers for safety. Let’s work up the levels from the bottom – the foundational, biological level The “Me Level” At this level, our mind values feeling oriented and in control

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LATEST

Old Foundations Modern Context

How does our deep biology and our sense of self contribute to how we think and ultimately how we interact with the world around us? I built the “Personal Ataraxy Matrix” below to help people connect their daily interactions with the deep influence that our ancient biology plays. Our body and deep biology has drivers for safety and success which have been forged over millennia. To work over ecological time frames, they need to be reasonably generic rules or preferences. Markers for safety. Let’s work up the levels from the bottom – the foundational, biological level The “Me Level” At this level, our mind values feeling oriented and in control

Read More »

Recent Articles

What is the ROI on how I feel?

What is the ROI on how I feel? Absurd question, right? It is absurd because we shouldn’t attempt to quantify qualia. But it isn’t absurd, because it represents is a massive missing link that companies cannot see. Companies deal in

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Hidden Cost of Gifts

When someone gives a gift, they create an invisible social obligation in the receiver — an implied debt that wasn’t asked for and can’t easily be refused. This piece explores the hidden psychological and relational cost of gifts and what

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Attend, drift, avoid?

About 20 years ago I went through a phase of reading those North American motivational books — Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Emerson, Tolle, that whole shelf. One of them was Nathaniel Branden’s The Art of Living Consciously: The Power of

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100% no failure rate

Coachy-mode unnamed dad to his daughter as she puts her boots on for soccer: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Daughter with a grin that shows she’s too clever for her dad: “You can’t fail if you

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Make rules like you weren’t the boss

New Rule! [specific words or gestures] are now a criminal offence. New Rule! I’m removing that guardrail and bending that rule — it’s slowing us down. New Rule! The Board won’t agree to this — too conservative — so I’ll just not mention it. Forgiveness, not permission. New Rule! That process

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Flipping intentions

Those idiots! They are just out for themselves. They don’t care how they impact others…. Last week we focused on the corroding effect on our happiness from Comparison with others. We see their visible successes and not their doubts, fears,

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Comparison Corrodes

There’s a famous study from the 1992 Barcelona Olympics that gets wheeled out regularly to make a point about happiness. Bronze medallists, on camera and in interviews, look happier than silver medallists — despite silver being the objectively better result.   The explanation

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Life objectively good

Those two orange circles up there are the same size. I know it, you know it, and your eyes still don’t believe it. Surround something with bigger things and it shrinks. Surround it with smaller things and it grows. Your brain isn’t broken — it just refuses to

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Nothing to Nothing is No Time At All

“Eventlessness has no posts to drape duration on. From nothing to nothing is no time at all.” — John Steinbeck, East of Eden   Sit with that for a moment – what a beautiful piece of writing.   It’s from a passage where Steinbeck is

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The Smartest Person in the Room

The smartest person in most rooms he walked into. Technically brilliant. His organisation knew his value — and so did he.  But it wasn’t enough.  He’d been passed over for promotion. His numbers weren’t where they needed to be.  When I first met ___, he

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Owning Your Impact

“My boys have a better chance of being well-rounded, rational young men asa result of me committing myself to this journey of figuring out my thoughts.” This quote from a client this week is an example of a father – recognising

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The Man I was, killed the man I wanted to be

A feature of the wonderful Aussie blue’s artist, Lloyd Spiegal’s music is the lyrics.  Many of his tunes really that hit me in the feels.  One example is “The man I was.”  Hard to listen to without feeling a little choked up.  The key lyric here “The man that I was killed the man that

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All the Drag You Cannot See

The “People and Culture” piece at work influences traction in a quite specific way. It is the difference between walking along a clear, well-maintained path or on soft sand, or wading through water. You can still get there, is it

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Australian Leaders: More worry less happy

The Australian HR Institute published findings from the Global Leadership Wellbeing Survey last week. It tracks the happiness of leaders — and it isn’t telling a good story.  There is an unbroken, ten-year decline. A decade of consistent, measurable deterioration in the felt wellbeing of

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