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Argument Loading
There’s a moment we all know too well. Someone says something—your mother-in-law, your uncle, that colleague—and you feel an argument loading. You’re tired, they’re tired, there is pressure, everyone’s dialled up, and you’re about to say the thing you’ll regret. If you don’t want to engage in the discussion (and at family/social gatherings this is probably the best strategy), here’s a circuit breaker you could try. Four steps: 1. Pause Just stop. It won’t be nearly as long a gap in the conversation as you think. 2. Breathe slow (out first if possible) This isn’t woo-woo nonsense—it’s biofeedback. The brain is associative; the slow breath is associated with the feeling
Recent Articles
Assume Better Intent
A client of mine, a Senior Manager in a national corporate role, often comes away from meetings with the sense that some participants are almost deliberately undermining the outcome. You know the feeling – someone keeps raising objections, poking holes,
Be Interesting Without Saying Anything
We get the urge to fill conversational gaps with something—anything—and often resort to asking for, or worse, offering our own facts. Facts usually kill conversations. Feelings, enquiries, and stories sustain them. The fix? Shift from facts to their experience. You
Get It Done
We’ve all got important projects that drift. The exercise program that starts “next week.” The business strategy that needs “just a bit more thinking.” The difficult conversation we’ll have “when the time is right.” Your brain isn’t sabotaging you—it’s doing
Once Is Enough
Want less stress? Try these on for size. Two related concepts that work together to help improve your days – even the bad ones. Both attributed to Seneca and the Stoic tradition. The First: “We suffer more often in imagination
The Real Slim Shady
Guess who’s back, back again?Nige is back, tell a friendGuess who’s back, guess who’s backGuess who’s back, guess who’s backGuess who’s back, guess who’s backGuess who’s back(Na-na-na, na, na and so on….) I’m the OG! Haha. If you’ve been wondering
The workplace strategy hiding in plain sight
The best leaders, colleagues, and most trusted friends tend to share one trait: they’re genuinely happy in themselves. When people are emotionally self-aware, coherent, and resilient, everything improves. Workplace engagement rises. Psychosocial safety risks drop. Leadership divisions heal. Teams solve
Voice Matters
Courage requires fear. One of the activities I get my one-one coaching clients to do is to nudge them just a little out of their comfort zone. For example, what could happen “If I bring five percent more awareness to
Stoic Weekends
I’m feeling a little brain dead after a big couple of weeks. I’m busy with my clients and having fun – just hectic. As a result, this week I’m keeping it simple and brining you a couple of my favourite
“Why Should I?” Part 2
The Biology of “Us vs. Them” or “How to become a lonely cynic.” This is part 2 of exploring the “Why should I?” mentality. [Read part 1 here.] What happens in your brain when someone frustrates you? More than you
“Why Should I?” Part 1
The Hidden Trap in “Why Should I?” This is part 1 of exploring the “Why should I?” mentality. [Read part 2 here.] “Why should I be the one to reach out? Why should I carry their workload? Why should I
Just Show Up FFS
Many leaders I work with share the same frustration: “Just show up and get on with it!” They’re working long hours under intense pressure, hitting difficult targets and solving complex problems. They simply cannot afford to have people not showing
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