We get the urge to fill conversational gaps with something—anything—and often resort to asking for, or worse, offering our own facts.
Facts usually kill conversations. Feelings, enquiries, and stories sustain them.
The fix? Shift from facts to their experience.
You don’t have to be interesting or deliver interesting facts. You don’t need to agree with them or validate their ideas. You just need to be interested in their experience.
Compare:
“Oh really, you like to dance naked around a fire whilst playing the flute? I play the piano a little.” (Conversation dies)
“You’ve joined a local model train club? Where did that interest come from?” (Conversation opens)